tomorrow is my last day of attachment! finally!

One cant stay down forever, he has to stand up and keep going.. after falling so many times i should have already learn this lesson but everytime things keep getting worse and more complicated den the last..

Today I met an interesting patient, looking at his life made me wonder a little too.. Nice guys finish last? possible.. What does being nice and everything get you? The joy of helping someone.. I know that feeling.. Going out an extra limp for someone is not always the easiest thing to do but still, there is still a joy in doing that no matter the price.. Is one willing to sacrifice so much for so little in return?

A man such as myself does not know how to really help.. Being me I just listen.. Up till now I still do not know what does listening do to help although it does release the pressure a little which I hope actually happens but I wouldn't really know would I..

The old me was so much nicer.. So much more trusting.. So much more than what I currently am.. Yet in a sense the old me was so much more unreal, a individual such as what I once was cannot successfully function in the modern day society or any in that matter..

Sacrifice? In the past I always though I was very insincere as doing some stuff didn't mean much to me so as compared to though who took alot of effort just to do what I would do.. That is really a sacrifice in itself..

Now doing this and that seems so much more taxing than what it used to seem. Now at the other end of the spectrum it would seem that those who do good like it doesn't mean too much are really "wow"

Life is simple yet so messy, God I hate romance novels.. They can be so stupid sometimes..

today was a first? maybe not a first but some where along those lines.. keep telling myself the same thing.. i know whats good whats bad but still i just keep doing the same thing.. but sometimes doing the right thing isn't the best thing to do.. so confusing crap.. haha.. but at least after this episode things would either get alot better or just hell lot worse.. just hope things turn out for the better..




So.... What makes a nice guy nice?

Afraid my heart will give out half-way..

So many things I kept hidden

So many things I didn't

So many things Unseen

So many things Unheard

So many times I've given

So many times I've tried

So many mistakes

So many broken promises

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So many memories

So many things I've done

So many people I've meet

So many times I've smiled

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So many times I've masked

So many lies I've said

So many disappointments

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At least I'm still here breathing and well to make things right again..

Keep me in your prayers..

"One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory." - Rita Mae Brown

Quote from some random persons blog and thought I should be veh happy a person but don't seem so

im apparently extremely tired after months of lack of sleep and constant state of relative busy-ness.. Dunno how long more I can take this before i drop dead or something..

Life so far has gotten pretty interesting as things keep changing and as I'm exposed to new things.. But at the same time its burning me dry as I have quite a few commitments that of which I have to do..

Hoping that God will some how make a way for me as I go through this troublesome time..

I keep on letting my heart wander and unguarded.. Think another problem is rising and this time things keep getting harder and harder..




By God alone will I make it through the day cause I can't live for myself..

Unleash the mugger!
(for now)

The world has never been so clear
Yet so blur..

All I need is a place to rest my head