Life like the layout

even after giving everything you got to grab a hold of what you want one must prepare himself for the landing and keep holding on tightly..

Just wondering....

This feeling.. I hate it..

So distracting..

Hope things will get better though..

So close yet so far.

Hurt and risk a scar or harden and risk never feeling again..

Life should be like a layout

Just go for it and give it all you got to catch what you want..

The more worried you are about the landing the more likely you will hurt yourself

Rant

Its been a super super long time since I've last posted anything on this blog..
Guess things have been pretty busy-ish lately and time just goes out the window.
Because with one look you can see
Things are ever changing and I cant seem to be able to keep track of them. I've changed, my friends changed, my family changed and even the surroundings have changed.
Everything..
I guess I'm just not the sort who is used to change.
Just one look..
I guess I just really dislike the person whom I am becoming. Don't wanna be like this. Wish I could go back to the way I used to be, a caring person.

So many things happen in life that through learning from my mistakes and taking the counter measures have turn up with new problems and through those new problems I miss the way I used to be.

From trying to understand everything things have never been so clear yet so hard to see. Black and white is becoming the shades of gray and the rainbow in the sky is becoming duller.

I just want to know why I feel the way I feel. Just wanna know why I feel this aching.

We all share the same sky yet not all of us can see the sun shining through the darkest cloud.

From the warmth came the burning and from the cold came the freezing. Wish I can find the place where there is a balance.

From my emotions I made stupid decisions and did stupid things.

From my mind I made the "smart" ones but the heart turn cold and solid.

I still feel, just not the way I used to..

I wish I could be the one who could picture the sun even through the darkest storm where even the lightning struck me down.

No point in brooding but sometimes its always better to let it out I once said..

Once upon a time..

The hero always gets the girl and has the happy endings..
But i'm anit no hero..
Love? Nah... nothing close to that.. My heart is running wild yet again.. too careless.. dun ever wanna make the same stupid mistake again.. should be slping now.. comp starts in 7 hrs and i must report in 6hrs.. crap.. hope i can make it thru tmr.. screwed up person me..

Bored people do dumb things

Tired people do dumb things

Dumb people do dumb things

So if your all of the above do you do dumb things?

Dumb + Dumb + Dumb = ?

hahahhaha.. just all of the above so i decided to type that..

Just wondering whats going to happen.. First time in a long time I'm actually doing something in this area.. I've kept wandering.. Kept looking but some how this don't feel right.. Maybe your just curious.. Maybe I'm just curious.. Life is pretty interesting but I'm a boring person.. So what do you get when a boring person lives an interesting life..

Wonder wonder why..

Can you believe this words, Maybe I'll try

Rant rant... hahahhaha..

Laughter can be so hollow and meaning less yet be a beautiful melody..
Eyes can shine so bright and filled with promise yet so dark and empty..

I'm once a again wondering..

Rest.. Maybe that's all I need..

Why am I here? Why did he put me here? All these problems, theres gotta be a reason.. I'm always seeking..

Look left look right.. Up down left right.. Sight and perceptions.. What are all of these?

Seeing through infinity is not something a person can see..

God's angle.. The unattainable..

Wonder why I'm even bother to write.. I can keep writing all this rubbish.. The subcon mind is so mysterious..

Id Ego SuperEgo
Devil - me - Angel

Maybe this is just another self-defense for anxiety? Possible..

I can keep typing on forever but here I am still wondering what am I doing.. Sigh*

tomorrow is my last day of attachment! finally!

One cant stay down forever, he has to stand up and keep going.. after falling so many times i should have already learn this lesson but everytime things keep getting worse and more complicated den the last..

Today I met an interesting patient, looking at his life made me wonder a little too.. Nice guys finish last? possible.. What does being nice and everything get you? The joy of helping someone.. I know that feeling.. Going out an extra limp for someone is not always the easiest thing to do but still, there is still a joy in doing that no matter the price.. Is one willing to sacrifice so much for so little in return?

A man such as myself does not know how to really help.. Being me I just listen.. Up till now I still do not know what does listening do to help although it does release the pressure a little which I hope actually happens but I wouldn't really know would I..

The old me was so much nicer.. So much more trusting.. So much more than what I currently am.. Yet in a sense the old me was so much more unreal, a individual such as what I once was cannot successfully function in the modern day society or any in that matter..

Sacrifice? In the past I always though I was very insincere as doing some stuff didn't mean much to me so as compared to though who took alot of effort just to do what I would do.. That is really a sacrifice in itself..

Now doing this and that seems so much more taxing than what it used to seem. Now at the other end of the spectrum it would seem that those who do good like it doesn't mean too much are really "wow"

Life is simple yet so messy, God I hate romance novels.. They can be so stupid sometimes..

today was a first? maybe not a first but some where along those lines.. keep telling myself the same thing.. i know whats good whats bad but still i just keep doing the same thing.. but sometimes doing the right thing isn't the best thing to do.. so confusing crap.. haha.. but at least after this episode things would either get alot better or just hell lot worse.. just hope things turn out for the better..




So.... What makes a nice guy nice?

Afraid my heart will give out half-way..

So many things I kept hidden

So many things I didn't

So many things Unseen

So many things Unheard

So many times I've given

So many times I've tried

So many mistakes

So many broken promises

---------------------------------

So many memories

So many things I've done

So many people I've meet

So many times I've smiled

---------------------------------

So many times I've masked

So many lies I've said

So many disappointments

----------------------------------

At least I'm still here breathing and well to make things right again..

Keep me in your prayers..

"One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory." - Rita Mae Brown

Quote from some random persons blog and thought I should be veh happy a person but don't seem so

im apparently extremely tired after months of lack of sleep and constant state of relative busy-ness.. Dunno how long more I can take this before i drop dead or something..

Life so far has gotten pretty interesting as things keep changing and as I'm exposed to new things.. But at the same time its burning me dry as I have quite a few commitments that of which I have to do..

Hoping that God will some how make a way for me as I go through this troublesome time..

I keep on letting my heart wander and unguarded.. Think another problem is rising and this time things keep getting harder and harder..




By God alone will I make it through the day cause I can't live for myself..

Unleash the mugger!
(for now)

The world has never been so clear
Yet so blur..

All I need is a place to rest my head

When one says "He is at his limits"
The other will say "No"
When one says "He is not going to make it"
The other says "No"
When one says "He is stumbling"
Others say "No.."
When one says "He has fallen"
The others will say silent..

Till he decides to stand..

Why be content with less when you can be so much more?
Why lie there when you can be somewhere better?
Why just push the line when you can overcome it?
Why stay the same when there is so much more ahead?

Life is more than just a run..
Life is more than just living..
Life was given so we could show the world..

The problem is seeing "How we can solve our problems"
Do you still look to God to see how he can solve them..
Maybe he lets us have this problem so we would learn to trust him.
Maybe?

Or maybe we just got to wake up..

So.. are you going to take the stand?

If I met you some other day some other time and maybe in some other life..Things might be better..

Decode (1) - Mdvpml!

Nfd ass epf jdljsl C vhosm xd vhyiomndrm a ndihymss..

Bhb, C'wf vhzh ijvp a shyo bbf nplz phb C eifm eh xd.
Ce ci ddcssf a zdod mfnnjdnyvt ndlz phb C eifm eh xd.

C vby'e xdsljwn C'z ieiss pddh, C bhymjd phb C vhsm ijdwown nfd ih shyo..

Mfm C xdvpzl vhsmhd fde aocly..
Pbwh C mfiedyvp zfihsn aocly ndlz bwfdfxbmf?

Just felt like writing something

I wish i could just go back to the time where i could wander into time and just stare into the endless dark nights..

at least den i knew i was alive

DEAD!

This blog is really dead =[

Sorry Joyan! Can't find the right things to post about youth camp..

So I guess this blog is dead like somethings in life!

Might ever revive this blog if I go learn some digital CPR or something!

Sorry to all those who actually read this blog!


SamTan
Signing off for the last time!